Joshua's beast life


hercoleworld:

lmfao !!!!

(Source: im-myownheroine)



flyingscotsman:

Whiiiirrr whiiirrr


Your Do-Gooder Ex Is Coming Back From India

  • You: Oh, I didn't think you'd answer. I thought you'd still be on the plane.
  • Her: We had a layover. I'm at Dulles International right now.
  • You: Oh, well, um...
  • Her: What's up?
  • You: I was just wondering if you were coming through town on your way home, I still have some stuff of yours.
  • Her: Like what?
  • You: Some books and some jewelry.
  • Her: It's been a year. Do you think I care about that stuff?
  • You: Oh, I just thought they might be sentimental or expensive or something. I don't know.
  • Her: You and your possessions.
  • You: What?
  • Her: Free yourself.
  • You: Um, again, what?
  • Her: I've changed.
  • You: Oh.
  • Her: You wouldn't understand.
  • You: People are always saying that.
  • Her: ...
  • You: So, how was Bombay?
  • Her: Mumbai.
  • You: Come again?
  • Her: They don't call it Bombay anymore. I mean, you can, if you like stripping the Indian people of their independence and returning to the imperial rule of Britain.
  • You: I'm sorry, I didn't-
  • Her: It hasn't been 'Bombay' for nearly 17 years. I suggest you read a book.
  • You: Um, so, you don't want your stuff back?
  • Her: Free yourself.
  • You: Stop saying that.
  • Her: I built a school.
  • You: Anyway...
  • Her: What have you been up to since I left? Did you build any schools?
  • You: I um...well..
  • Her: Speak up. Make your words count.
  • You: I filed for unemployment. Is that what you wanted to hear?
  • Her: You know some people aren't lucky enough to have a government that supports them with welfare.
  • You: Right...well...
  • Her: But I guess it's pretty hard for you. You need that unemployment check to buy whiskey and Cheez-Its.
  • You: I've been writing a lot.
  • Her: And not building any schools.
  • You: OK. Well look, if you come through, Karen is having a going away party for Chris Keller and I thought you might want-
  • Her: To go to a party?
  • You: Yeah.
  • Her: And drink like totally fun mass-produced spirits? Wanna pick up some Smirnoff Ice for me? Want me to drink Smirnoff Ice for you? Just like the old times?
  • You: You drank Smirnoff Ice?
  • Her: I'm making a point.
  • You: I don't get it.
  • Her: Yeah. You don't. You never 'got' it. I can't talk to you. I have to boil drinking water before my next flight.
  • You: You're in an airport. Can't you just, like, find a water fountain?
  • Her: Just because the convenience exists does not mean you should take advantage of it.
  • You: Take advantage? Of...a water fountain?
  • Her: Don't call me again.
  • You: OK.
Via Alan Hanson

thedailywhat:

McProstitute of the Day: A woman was arrested yesterday outside a Burbank McDonald’s and charged with soliciting sexual favors in exchange for Chicken McNuggets.

According to police, LA resident Khadijah Baseer was allegedly spotted opening the car doors of McDonald’s customers stopped at the drive-thru. She would then offer her sexual services to the vehicle’s occupants, requesting chicken nuggets in lieu of cash.

After one prospective john complained to the cops, Baseer was arrested and booked on suspicion of prostitution.

[leader / laist.]



radstronomical:

Re-posting this gif because I think it was massively underrated when I first posted it to Class My Ass.

Just look at that lil’ guy.



WELL I AM WAT ABOUT U LOL


WERE IS ALL THE PEOPLE FROM TUMBLR DONT BE SHY POST ON MY BLOG



cool-asianboy:

Cool shot from Saturday’s win

(Source: ayohamtaro)



spoonfulofvigor:

Off to Lambeau with the top down!



nfloffseason:

Divisional Preview: Saints at 49ers

@steven_lebron - New Orleans Saints

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that these two teams have contrasting styles. The 49ers were 7-1 at home this year, while the Saints were just a respectable 5-3 on the road. Take away their opening night loss at Lambeau Field, the remaining two road losses were puzzling: at Tampa Bay and at St. Louis. There are similar takeaways from both losses: the Saints rushed for a combined 126 yards in those two losses, and Drew Brees threw five interceptions. The 49ers have the formula to stop the Saints’ ground game and force turnovers. But is this the same New Orleans team that we saw two months ago? And just how far has San Francisco closed the gap on the elite teams in the NFC with their terrific year. I don’t think far enough to win this game. It will be a learning experience for Jim Harbaugh and Alex Smith. Saints win in a close one.

@nhall - San Francisco 49ers

The Saints are a great team. It’s really hard to argue against them, but the Niners can play the schedule game too. Take away the overtime loss to a reality tv touchdown reception and the Niners are undefeated at home. The Saints have all kinds of weapons. Not only do they have the usual suspects at receiver but they added Sproles and Jimmy “And 1” Graham has stepped up in a major way. That said, the Niners can stop them. First of all, the Niners will win the field position battle. They arguable have the best special teams unit in the league - Andy Lee, David Akers, Tedd Ginn. But the x-factor is Jim Harbaugh. He is readying his soldiers for battle. These guys are going to be amped beyond belief to play this home game. Patrick WIllis and NaVorro Bowman seem to be the worst possible matchup for Sproles. And what if Aldon Smith gets going? These Niners can win this game and if they do it’s because of the defense and the home grass. I see Alex Smith staying controlled and this New Orleans pass rush staying less than impressive.


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